Breathless
by averys-eyes
Summary: "We reassure ourselves that things will be okay. We pray and hope and sometimes that is all we can do." Picks up at the end of 11x08. Japril centric Disclaimer: All recognizable plots and characters belong to ABC! I take no credit whatsoever!
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N Will probably be written through the Winter Hiatus :D I will see how it goes! _**

**_I do not own Greys Anatomy or any recognizable characters or scenes, they all belong to ABC! I take no credit whatsoever _**

_They say life throws your curveballs, they say life throws you all sorts of things you aren't prepared for. They also say how you deal with these things is what defines you but never do they say what type of person you become once you get out. That bit is up to you. Happiness is like a glass that is on the edge of a table, a little push can break it into a million tiny shards. And the sad thing is, you don't get to choose when your glass is going to break, but when it does? Dear God, I hope you're prepared. _

"What is this about?" Jackson asked staring Stephanie down. Stephanie clutched the tablet closer to her chest, the scans buried in her lab coat. How could she have been so stupid?

This morning she had done an ultrasound for her ex boyfriends' wife and now the said ex-boyfriend had overheard her announce his unborn son's death sentence in the worst way he possibly could have.

"Um, Jackson I am really not the person you need-"

"Stephanie. Listen to me. Was that my child you were speaking about?" He asked calmly.

What scared her most was the fact was that he wasn't even mad. He was calm but his voice shook, he was a scared man. "Jackson, like I said I cant-"

He gripped her arms and spun her into the nearest on call room, he let her go to lock the door before rounding on her again. "Show me the ultrasound." He spoke commandingly but she could see the tears pooling in his eyes, she looked away.

She couldn't bear this. She handed the tablet over and watched his expression carefully, it went from fear to confusion. "The- the baby is breached so what that doesn't mean-" he broke off and looked up at her, realization dawning.

"That isn't the problem is it?" he whispered.

He handed back the tablet and sat on the bed, he held his head in his hands. Never in her life had she seen him so frail and so, so vulnerable. Her hands shook around the cool metal as she locked the screen. April Kepner and Jackson Avery were not her favourite people at Grey Sloan but she would never wish this on anyone, not even if he left her at a wedding for the bride. April Kepner was one of the happiest people at this hospital and she sure as hell did not need the rug pulled out from under her feet.

"Stephanie, the baby is gonna die isn't it?" he asked, his voice sounded thick with unshed tears. She stared back at him, not saying a word. She couldn't. After what he heard she couldn't be the one to confirm his worst fears, she couldn't be the one to tell him that the baby his wife was carrying would not grow up, the baby wouldn't have its sweet sixteen or graduate college, hell it might not even see its first birthday.

Her silence was answer enough for him,

"What is it?" As a surgeon, she knew he needed to know, to run the prognosis in his head even if it was futile, even if one of the best foetal surgeons had already signed off on this, he needed to.

"OI. Type 2 or 3" she whispered.

Jackson's eyes widened and Stephanie was near tears. This was the worst case scenario and God dammit that's not what they were meant to get, they were meant to get a type where there was hope, where there was a chance. Sure, they had messed up a lot, but they were GOOD people.

He looked down at his hands and shook his head, "My baby" he whispered, "My baby is going to die"

People had died around him before. He had experienced loss. As a child, he had lost his father, as a resident he had lost his best friend. He had stood at the side of a casket and done the typical thing everyone at a funeral did; looked for who was most affected by the death and looked at how they handled it. Never did he think the most affected person would be him.

He had asked Edwards to leave him alone, he needed to think. He needed to think how he was going to tell April. The thought alone made him nauseated. This was going to break her. She had been so worried about the baby to the point where he thought that she was being slightly neurotic and he had been the one to constantly assure her that it would be fine, their baby would be fine. Except now their baby wasn't going to be fine.

He didn't know how she would take it except that she would be beyond heartbroken. He remembered when Reed died and April tripped over her dead body, he remembered the look in her eyes when she had seen him for the first time after the shooting. Losing a child was ten times worse than losing your best friend. He didn't want to imagine what this would do to their relationship, he didn't want to consider the directions it would take but he especially didn't want April to blame herself.

Being a surgeon, he had seen so many parents lose children and spiral due to guilt and heartbreak. They would always repeat the same things "There must have been something I could have done" or "This is all my fault" . From a medical perspective, he knew that there was nothing a human could do to prevent science. Science defied all odds and this was how Jackson was raised. He, unlike April, was not raised in a church but rather amongst a family of cardiothoracic surgeons who discussed heart procedures around the Christmas Dinner table. But right now as he sat with his head in his hands, he found himself praying to a God he didn't believe in, that somehow, his baby would be alright, although he knew that it wouldn't.

It was late by the time Jackson found the courage to clean himself up and go home, he didn't know where April was but he assumed that she was running around the ER. She liked to take advantage of his late days when she could work extra hours.

Jackson took the stairs one at a time when he saw her bright red head updating a chart at the Nurse's Station. She laughed at something one of the Nurse's said as she handed back the tablet. Jackson frowned. He didn't want to be the one to have to break that, he didn't want to be the one to take the smile off her face because he had done it so many times before, they had finally gotten to a good place, the two of them. They had finally gotten through all the drama of unrequited love and sex in bathrooms and breaking promises to Jesus. But now they were just going to regress.

Jackson turned around before April caught sight of him and bounded up the stairs and into a broom closet. He couldn't tell her. He reached for his phone with shaking hands and scrolled through the contacts. He pressed the green call button. She answered on the first ring. "Jackson! Baby, how are you?!" she exclaimed, Jackson's inhaled a few times, a few shaky breaths. His mother instantly knew something was off. "Jackson? Jackson honey what happened?" Jackson shook his head, "The baby Mom, the baby is going to die"

_You can never be prepared for your glass breaking. Nor can you put it back together, once a glass breaks there is always a shard in the wrong place, a shard not sticking together properly. You can't do it yourself. When people break, the immediate thought is therapy, to sit in the plush chairs of a therapist's office and let them tell you how to glue the pieces of your glass back together. But to fix it you almost always need someone else, someone with a steadier hand, a better eye, someone who knows how to fix what broke. Coming out the other end the a better person than you were at the beginning is bullshit. You come out scarred, bruised and beaten, you just seem better because you went through hell. You don't get better, you adapt and you move on. _


	2. Chapter 2

_As a child you trust your mother to fight your demons for you. You trust your mother to guide you, you hold her hand when you cross the road and you trust her to cut up your food into child sized pieces. Once you become a teenager however the demons live in your head and you get sent off to therapy to help fight the demons for you, sometimes you win but a lot of the time you don't. But once you become an adult? You don't fight the demons, the demons fight you and you rarely win but you find the strength to get up every day and pretend. You pretend until you believe that you're winning yourself._

Catherine shut off her phone and stared at the screen. She promised Jackson that she would take the first flight out of Boston and be in Seattle after nightfall or even in the early hours of the morning depending on the flight she got. What bothered Catherine most of all was the fact that her son didn't even protest, he needed her and usually hated admitting when he did. She sighed as she put her phone on the couch and reached for her laptop. She could not and did not want to believe this. She was not the happiest person when it came to HOW Jackson and April went about getting married however she was over the moon that they did, although she would not admit it.

The Avery family was an influential one, one where wives were chosen based on Academic merit or what they could bring to the table, she herself had been the first that was chosen based on true, undying love, a love that forced her to cooperate and learn the ropes after Jackson's father had left, she never regretted the decision to be an Avery but she would never admit to wholeheartedly loving it since day one. This was why Catherine was so anal about who Jackson chose to marry, it needed to be a woman of strength, one that's as able to carry on the legacy she would leave behind. Catherine thought of the time she found April crying in the supply closet and then she was faced with the fear only a mother understands; the fear for the wellbeing of your children. As Catherine waited for the web page to load, she thought back to the first time she had met April Kepner at Mercy West, when she had come to help out with a surgery. Back then, April was much more afraid and a lot more annoying than she was now but she was still a very sweet girl, a girl Catherine pitied deep down. She was glad Jackson had April, she was glad that they had each other, but she feared what would happen if they lost this baby.

Catherine booked the flight to Seattle robotically and packed a suitcase in the same fashion. She could not get the conversation with Jackson out of her head,

_"Jackson, Jackson honey what's wrong?" she asked as she shooed away an assistant that came in with portfolios of potential beneficiaries for the Harper Avery Foundation and focused completely on her son. _

_He rarely called her and when he did it was to berate her for meddling or when something was seriously wrong, this time however, it seemed that the reason for the call was the latter. "The baby, Mom. The baby is going to die."_

_ Those few words had Catherine sitting down to regain her composure. "Jackie, what do you mean?" she probed. Jackson was her only son and this baby would be her first grandchild, as well as the future head of the Harper Avery foundation and here her son was telling her that the baby wasn't going to make it._

_ She could hear Jackson struggling to maintain composure on the other side of the line and this instantly brought tears to her eyes, it was heart wrenching to hear her child suffering and she could do nothing about it._

_"OI. They did a scan and the baby is breeched – has been for about a month – and Herman looked at it and said it looks like T-type two.. or t-t-three"_

_ Catherine put her hand against her chest. She shook her head, refusing to believe this. She had seen what Osteogenesis Imperfecta had done to babies but she had also seen the effect Type 2 and 3 had on parents, many parents terminated pregnancies if possible and those that chose to have the baby were in for a hellish few weeks or few months if they were lucky, seeing the baby they came to love suffer before passing on; before they could even open their eyes properly. Never did she think one of those babies would be her grandbaby._

_ "Jackson.." she whispered in utter disbelief. She swallowed. She needed to remain strong. God knew that Jackson and April would not handle this well, not after everything they had been through. _

_"Does April know?" Catherine asked, biting her lip._

_ The picture she had of April in her mind was not a pleasant one, she had seen how April reacted to the accident at the mall and she knew that this would be ten times worse. At the mention of April she heard Jackson's breath hitch on the other side, _

_"No. She doesn't."_

_ Catherine frowned, "I'm coming over there, I'll take the soonest flight out of Boston, baby. It's going to be okay" _

_This time, as opposed to the many other times Catherine offered to visit, Jackson did not protest._

Jackson tidied himself up enough to go and find April in the attending's lounge. She had already changed out of her scrubs and was slipping on a jacket, the fact that she was pregnant was becoming obvious and could not be hidden as well under normal clothing anymore.

"Hey!" April cheerfully greeted as she picked up her bag and walked over to him, locking her arm in his.

" How was your day?" she asked, completely unaware that this was one of the worst days of his entire life. But he wasn't going to tell her here, he was going to tell her at home where the entire hospital did not have to witness their grief, so he lied through his teeth.

"Great, and yours?" April smiled knowingly as she squeezed his arm tighter.

"I have a surprise for you" she said in a secretive tone, her eyes were bright and sparkling and it looked as if she had a hard time keeping it from him.

Jackson tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, "Really? What is it?" he asked.

April laughed as she pulled open the passenger door of his car, "Not here Talkie Tina" she giggled as she slipped into the car.

The smile never left her face

Jackson and April got into the car and April began rambling non stop about a a baby catalogue that one of sisters had emailed her. Jackson saw how bright her eyes became and how she basically trembled from excitement. He clutched the steering wheel tighter to the point where the whites of his knuckles were visible. He didn't want to be the one to take that smile off her face. He wished that they had found out via a doctor and not through Jackson overhearing Herman and Edwards talking. He knew that he would have to tell her. He'd rather she find out from him than find out afterwards that he knew and that he had kept it from her.

"Oh my God, Jackson we have to go baby shopping soon!" She exclaimed as they pulled up outside the apartment.

"I saw the cutest baby growers and blankets. Also we have to look for more things to put on the walls, I do want it to be gender neutral though.." She continued as she slipped out of the car and slung her bag over her shoulder.

"This is finally happening Jackson. Which reminds me, I need to-"

"Stop stop stop!"Jackson exclaimed as he gripped April's shoulders.

The agitation was clear in his voice. April looked taken aback and confused at Jackson's sudden outburst. She had thought he looked off but had tried to keep the conversation going and be cheerful.

"I can't listen to you talk about this when I know that our baby is going to die!"

April froze. Tears pooled in her eyes. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he instantly regretted them. He hadn't meant to be this harsh with her. This was not how he intended her to find out.

"What..." She muttered as she shook her head and tears fell out of her eyes,

"April. April I didn't mean for you to-". She shook her head and removed his hands from her shoulders. He could see her shaking and how she tried her best not to cry.

"April, I'm sorry.." He tried to reach out to hug her but she pulled away and shook her head.

"No, no. I can't. My baby.." She tearfully stated as she turned and headed inside. She ran quickly and slammed the door behind her.

"April!" He called behind her in a broken voice.

But it was too late. He had done one more than more than break her smile, he had broken her heart.

April removed her jacket and sat on the couch, she felt numb. She felt as if every fibre in her being had been anasteathised. She felt like a patient going in for an emergency trauma surgery, a patient she usually operated on who went in feeling numb and confused, not knowing if they were going to make it out and still in the middle of processing what had happened. She felt totally vulnerable as she sat on the couch, her hands protectively wrapped around her stomach. She should not have treated Jackson the way she did, he did not deserve it. He was suffering just as much as she was in this situation and she hadn't been fair but she needed to get away. This was all her fault. She didn't even know what was wrong with their baby, their Buddha baby boy, but she didn't need to. She did not want to know exactly how her baby was suffering when he was going to... Die.

April let out a sob when she realized that she hadn't even told Jackson the gender of the baby yet. They both got pieces of information they hadn't intended to and the piece of information April got was nullified by the fact that it didn't matter the sex of their baby if he wasn't going to make it.

April gripped herself tightly, she always screwed up. She screwed up their first try at a relationship and had a huge part in their other failed attempts. Their marriage and their baby was very impromptu, but it felt right.

But the way they went about it was not right, they had hurt many people along the way and maybe, maybe this was God punishing her. Maybe it was punishment for losing her virignity before marriage, maybe it was punishment for the way she had hurt and embarrassed so many people to find love for herself. Ever since she was a little girl in church she knew that God punished people who sinned and she had done so much of that in the past few baby was paying the price for her selfish actions, her innocent, perfect little baby boy.

"I'm so, sorry baby. I'm so, sorry" she whispered as she tried to combat the tears threatening to fall, she then thought of her parents, sisters, Catherine and..Jackson. It was his baby too. It was their baby, after everything they had been through. It was their baby. At the thought of this, April dissolved into heart wrenching sobs.

He could hear her crying through the door in the lounge when he passed. The door was unlocked but he respected her enough not to open it. They always said that mothers took the loss of a child the hardest, they tended to blame themselves.

God knew what was going through her mind right then.

Jackson sighed and looked at the clock, if was 2 hours since they had gotten home and was now just before 1AM. At that moment, the doorbell rang and Jackson trudged along the carpet to open it.

Before he even opened the door, he knew who it was. His suspicions were confirmed when he was engulfed into a hug and the strong smell of an expensive jasmine perfume hit his nostrils. His mother.

"Mom " he choked out into her curly brown hair. "You came" she rubbed the back of his head comfortingly,

"Of course I did, baby" she answered and let go of her of her son but kept his face between the palms of her hands.

"How's April?" She asked in a soft voice.

Jackson looked down and shook his head.

Catherine sighed. "Where is she?"

Jackson nodded with his head towards the dining room. Catherine let go of her son and walked towards the room. She pushed open the door.

April was sitting on the ground with her body against the bottom of the couch. She wasn't making a sound but tears were flowing out of her eyes like rivulets. She had her arms wrapped around her bump and looked much more pregnant than the last time Catherine had seen her. Catherine nearly started crying herself.

"Oh, April," she muttered.

April looked up with red eyes. When she saw Catherine's face she dissolved into even more tears. Catherine removed the coat she was wearing and went to sit on the couch close to April. She put her arms around her shoulders and pulled her head onto her lap. April buried her face in Catherine's leg and held onto her hand tight while her cries became louder. This was a broken woman, how Catherine hoped that it was some or another misunderstanding.

"It's going to be okay, baby" she whispered running her free hand through April's hair. Jackson watched from the half open door, he knew Catherine was giving April something he couldn't, that something was a mothers love.

"April, honey look at me" Catherine spoke softly.

April raised her head after a few seconds and looked into Catherine's eyes. Her red hair was hanging all over her face and was damp with tears.

"Do you know what is wrong with your baby?" She asked.

April was the mother and deserved to know, she doubted that April had let Jackson get far enough to tell her. April shook her head meekly and looked towards the door, she didn't see Jackson. She instantly felt like shit.

"Honey, they think that your baby has Osteogenesis Imperfecta, type 2 or 3" April gasped.

Catherine tried to break this to her gently, she knew that April was a doctor and knew what OI entailed. She watched as April digested this information before she pulled her body up from the floor, Catherine could see slight trembles.

"I'm going to talk to Jackson." She concluded before pushing back her hair and biting her lip while she turned slowly and walked out the door.

Her reaction had puzzled Catherine, but all that mattered now was that she speak to her husband. They needed each other now more than ever.

In the meantime, Catherine Avery had a few calls to make, she wasn't going to accept her grand baby's death sentence without putting up one hell of a fight.

_Winning is not easy. The end result is one that has many consequences, consequences that include losing people or yourself. If you're strong enough to overcome these consequences, you're strong enough to win. Nothing comes easily especially not overcoming something that seems impossible to conquer. But you fight like hell. The demons will never go down without one hell of a fight. But fighting isn't all. You also have to determine how much you're willing to lose._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to all the reviewers! The response I've gotten on this is amazing and I really do appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this chapter although I am feeling very doubtful about it! Thanks once again!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable plots or characters and do not take any credit at all. Grey's Anatomy belongs to the amazing Shonda Rhimes and her team and ABC. **

_We all have a favourite quote, we all have a favourite something that understands us when we don't even understand ourselves. Its human nature to want comfort. During rough times people turn to many things to make themselves feel better; literature, cigarettes, alcohol. These materialistic items make us feel better about ourselves, they make us feel as if something that is unable to understand itself understands our pain. But during the roughest of times; the times where we shake with pain or vibrate with rage, the times we are not so sure we want to go on any longer are the times where the comfort of another person surpasses the comfort of a materialistic item, but the comfort actually needed is rarely ever sought, its rarely ever sought because humans are proud and are willing to lose everything as long as they still have their dignity. But, it begs the question of what would have happened if everyone broke free from the chains of dignity. I've always wondered. Haven't you?_

April's legs felt like lead as she walked towards the bedroom she shared with Jackson. Her face was still wet with tears but she had no more left to cry. She was still struggling to understand. April sat on the edge of the bed as she heard the shower running. She felt small. Her hands which lay in her lap shook although the rest of her body was perfectly still. April looked over to her bedside table where a picture of the first sonogram stood in a frame. It felt as if she had been stabbed in the heart.

This could not be happening, not to Jackson and not to Catherine who she had completely fallen apart in front of. Never in a million years did farm girl April, the gawky, annoying intern at Mercy West think that she would be crying in her lap let alone over the possible death of her grandson.

April held onto the frame until the metal corners dug into her palms, she didn't realize she was crying until Jacksons hands were on her shoulders. April jumped in shock and turned around to face him she nearly dropped the frame.

She knew what she had to say, '"I'm sorry" she apologized as she removed his hands, set the frame down and gingerly sat down on the bed.

April looked down at her hands which were red where the frame had dug into her skin. April made an attempt to wipe her eyes, "I'm sorry for the way I treated you especially since.. s-since this is all my fault"

Jackson stared back at her in utter disbelief. He could not believe she was blaming herself. "Hey.." he said as he sat down next to her and pulled her shaking frame against his chest.

"April, this is not your fault okay? Don't think for a second you had anything to do with this"

He tried to comfort her by running his hands through her curly red hair. He felt April shake her head against his chest. "No." April mumbled, "It is my fault. This is my punishment for all the people I hurt, this is God… t-this is God punishing me." Was all she could get out before she completely dissolved into tears.

Jackson froze. He could not believe for a second that this was what she felt. He hadn't been raised religiously, his family believed in medicine and the science of things and he in no way knew what it felt like to commit so wholeheartedly to a greater being but he did, however, know April and her intentions when she had 'hurt" everyone was far from malicious.

" April. April, look at me' he instructed as he peeled her off his chest and held her wet face in his hands.

"This didn't happen to our child because of you, okay? God would never punish you this cruelly not after all you've been through, all of that, God, April all of that is punishment enough. I don't want you ever, ever thinking for a second that your God would leave you like this. Not now. I don't have a God, April but science and God are separated by a blurred line, sometimes you never know which one is the reason for things. But I know, I sure as hell know that this is not God's punishment, okay?"he looked deep into her eyes when he said this. She stared back at him silently for a few moments, as if she were contemplating what he had just said.

Jackson stared back nervously, God and religion were not his thing, he hoped that what he had said made her feel better instead of worse.

He knew that April liked to think over things, she could be emotional and she did ramble but when things happened that really mattered, April thought a lot. April removed his hands from her face and threw her arms around his neck, holding herself closer to him.

"Thank you" she whispered.

They were in this together, April thought squeezing her arms tighter, and it wasn't fair to run this entire race and leave Jackson at the start line all alone, it wasn't fair to him nor was it fair to her. They were soldiers and in this together. Forever.

"I think it's time we get some sleep" Jackson answered rubbing her back soothingly although he knew that actually getting to sleep would be a struggle for them both. "We can go see someone tomorrow and get a proper diagnosis" he felt April nod. They were hopeful but still totally and utterly scared.

_In her dream April was sitting on the bench at the park, it was a great day out and to top things off she had the day off. April smiled as she watched Sierra climb to the top of the slide before waving at her, "Mommy! Mommy look at me!" she excitedly shouted, her brown hair bouncing almost as much as she was._

_ April waved back as an indication that she was indeed watching her daughter slide down a slide she had been terrified to try in the past. Sierra sat down at the top of the slide, but before she did anything she straightened her dress and adjusted her pig tails. That was clearly something Catherine Avery had taught her._

_ Her daughter was seven years old and attended the top private school in Seattle and wore Armani Junior among many other French brands April was unable to pronounce since she was practically a baby. Her daughter knew the names of and could explain medical procedures when normal seven year olds could only explain storylines of cartoons. _

_Although April wasn't always comfortable with all the money that was spent on Sierra, she did want the best for her daughter and knew she had to compromise with the Avery way of doing things even though she would much rather prefer Sierra wore clothes from Target and didn't know and watch some pretty gruesome plastics procedures that Jackson allowed her to__._

_ Sierra pushed herself down and April could hear her infectious giggles and high pitched squealing, something that Alex had said she had clearly inherited from April._

_When Sierra got to the bottom she slid too fast and crashed on the ground. April was up in a split second as she ran over to her daughter who sat on the ground holding her knee. "Sierra, are you okay?!" April cried, panic evident in her voice as she bent down next to her. Sierra removed her hand to reveal a badly cut knee caused by the metal at the bottom of the slide, that would definitely need stitches, April gasped, "Oh no honey, I'll take you to the hospital so Daddy can stitch it up okay?" she said in a panicky tone, she was reassuring herself more than she was reassuring Sierra, but the little girl shook her head and looked up at April with her blue-green eyes. _

_"I'll be okay, Mommy" the little girl whispered in an angelic tone as she put her hand in April's and squeezed it tightly before wrapping her arms around her neck and hugging her tightly._

_ "I'll be okay" she said again "You'll see"_

April awoke with a start and stared around the dark room. Her eyes landed on Jackson who lay sleeping beside her. She sat up slowly and put her hand against her heart. It had felt so _real._

But she knew it wasn't and could never happen.

Her baby had OI and her baby may not see life past babyhood or even life past the womb. Her child would not ever play in the playground and fall and get away with just a cut. Besides, the child in the dream had been a little girl called Sierra when her baby was a boy, all the more proof to how unreal this was.

April hugged her stomach, she couldn't help but take comfort in the little girl's words. Sierra seemed like the type of child she would love to call her own, Sierra had brown hair with a reddish tint and an olive complexion with the exact same eye colour as Jackson did. She was vibrant and bright and she seemed so smart and so, so wise.

April sighed, she could feel the tears coming into her eyes but she did not want to wake Jackson or Catherine with her crying. Tomorrow they would get this checked out by a proper specialist, she knew Jackson and Catherine would call in favours by riding on the Harper Avery Foundation, favours she would normally adamantly decline but right now she was desperate.

She didn't care how much money either of them spent on this, she didn't care the measures they would go to so that their little Buddha baby could have a chance.

April lay down and thought of Sierra's little angelic face and her words, "I'll be okay, Mommy. You'll see"

Arizona poured her third cup of coffee for the night and gratefully wrapped her fingers around the hot mug. In front of her lay April's scan, Herman's notes and open webpages on Osteogenesis Imperfecta.

She had been at this for hours; it was now just before four AM. She knew she owed it to April to do everything in her power to help her baby. April had been there for her through the affair and had made her jello moms to practice on. April didn't deserve this. April deserved a healthy baby who she could come show off at the hospital and take to the hospital day care and _love._

Arizona read through margin after margin in Herman's journals, if anything to give their baby even the slightest fighting chance could be done she would do it. She had to do it.

Arizona read of the diagnosis for OI types over and over and compared the scan. The baby had shortened limbs and was in a breech position but there were no fractures visible as yet.

Arizona chewed her lip, the only way to determine this was to turn the baby to get a better look at the other limbs to make an accurate diagnosis regarding the type. On the outset, it looked a lot like Type III to her but she knew how lethal type III and type II were and she was not prepared to let them terminate a pregnancy or give up before she got in there, before she had a chance to fix what could be fixed.

The light on her phone flashed and Arizona grabbed it quickly. She had sent out tons of emails with the scan to all her contacts at Johns Hopkins. An email from Siobhan, an orthopedic surgeon she had worked with closely on a case before, appeared on the screen. Arizona quickly read the message and gasped. She reread the message to confirm what she had seen. She shook her head and felt her heart pound in her chest. She grabbed her phone and her notes and disappeared out the door. She knew what had to happen next.

Catherine Avery was awoken by an erratic banging on the front door. She frowned and hoped that the noise had not awoken Jackson or April, they had a rough night and needed all the sleep they could possibly get, the road from this point onward would be a rough one.

Catherine groaned when she saw the time, it was just before 5AM. Catherine sighed as she made her way out of the guest room to open the door, but not before checking on them. They were asleep, thank God, April was laying on her side and Jackson had his arm lightly draped across her. They had had a really tough night and never had Catherine seen her son so torn up, but she was grateful that they had each other.

The knocking sounded again, more insistently this time and Catherine sighed in irritation. It was 5AM for Gods sake, what could anyone possibly want at this hour?

She unlocked the door and swung it open to reveal a very tired looking blonde woman. Her hair was tied up on top of her head and the bags under her eyes looked like very dark mascara. "Dr Avery" Arizona Robbins breathed, sounding as if she had just run a marathon. In her hands she held a folder and her laptop. She looked as if she hadn't slept at all.

"Dr Avery, I need to talk .. about the baby"

_Dignity is part of our makeup, everyone has dignity, but it does not matter the same amount to all people. Sometimes it's better to let go of what makes us feel so very important and allow ourselves to break down, allow ourselves to accept the love from another person. It's easier said than done, to be honest. It takes one special to unlock the Dignity Door and come inside, I honestly hope you have that special someone. If you don't however, I honestly hope that you are strong enough._


End file.
